So I've been known to be annoyingly clean. Or so my kids and husband say's. There just is something about a clean organized house to put me in a great mood!

If you are like me you probably have a shark steam mop or something like it. I love my shark. It gets up the hard sticky mess's that my little's leave behind, oh who am I kidding the mess's that even my teenager leave behind!

I use my steam mop on a regular bases. And if  you do too, then you know how gross they get. Well I never looked into replacing it before because I always just threw it in the washing machine with bleach. But after so long the musky stinky smell just wouldn't go away. Not to mention that it now looked black instead of the crisp clean white it use to be.

So I came across replaceable cloths on Amazon! Let me just say, I LOVE AMAZON. I do a lot of shopping on there. Last year I did my whole Christmas shopping on there. As you can guess, yes I'm an Amazon prime member. One of the best $10.00 a month I spend.

So with free 2 day shipping what could it hurt to try these? So I did, and they fit and work great with my Shark steam mop! I paid around $10.89 for a pack of 6. And honestly this will last me for at least 3 months if not longer! They are washable!!! They are a bit thinner than the original that came with the mop, but they work just as good!

If you are like me with a big family or just want to save money then these off brand ones are perfect for you!

**please note that I am not being paid by anyone or company to endorse this product**

Life

Thing's have been so crazy lately. Life with 6 people is insane. I really do not know how people who have even bigger families do it. I feel overwhelmed just by the 6 of us.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want my life to be like. I'm for sure on a few things, like God. I know that I want to study the bible. I want to finish a bible study. Actually I have a bible study going on if you would like to join. Just check the link above.

I want to spend more time with my kids. I feel like after having 2 babies kinda back to back I haven't had time to actually enjoy life. I want to get back to where I was with my older kids. My oldest just turned 16. I don't have that many more year's with him and I don't think he will stay here in St. Louis once he is 18. I just have this feeling like he'd move back to where we are from and live with his grandparents. I really want him to stay with us but once he's 18 there just isn't anything I can do.

I also don't want to be that parent who sweats the small stuff. I spend too much of my time worrying about what could go wrong that I miss out on all the fun stuff. I want to explore the world, I want my kids to explore the world.

I want to be a happy care free person again. I don't want to be a prisoner in my own body. I struggle so much with anxiety and lately depression seem's to be setting in. I know that I've talked before about being a very sensitive person and how it takes a toll on me. It just seem's like it has gotten worse. I just want that freedom of not having to worry. I have been trying to pray and give it over to God, but that's a hard thing for me to do. I always need to be in control. I want to try harder at letting go.

If anyone else suffers with anxiety and depression I'd love to hear from you.

Because my kids are not easy to take photo's of.
 Here is a collection on photo's I took that weren't too bad. Though my youngest wouldn't look at me as long as I had my camera in my hand. I swear it's just my kids that hate the camera, because as soon as I take it out and point it at them they avoid eye contact at all cost.

My oldest Jacob 16

My only daughter Sarai 13

My 2nd boy Cohen 3

My youngest Asher 1

Update:

so I realize that I have been absent lately. The reason for this is because we have made a HUGE life changing decision. My husband accepted a job offer in St. Louis Missouri. 

He moved down here at the end of October, as for the rest of us we didn't move til the first week of February. Living 3 months apart was really hard. I am so glad that we are finally all together. 

It still seems weird that we live in another state. and not just a state over try 2 states away. My husband is adjusted well, but then again he moved a lot as a kid. I on the other hand have lived in Bryan Ohio for 28 years of my life. That's a very long time to live some where. We together have lived in our home for 14 years. I can honestly say that I NEVER expected to move out of our house let alone out of state. I mean we have always talked about it, but that's all it ever was talk. 

I'm so proud of my husband for making that HUGE leap in life. It's always hard to leave the comforts of a job you've been at for so long. He's worked at his old job for 13 years. Worked his way up to a salary job. I mean after graduating high school he's only had 2 jobs and the first one the only reason he isn't working there is because he was laid off and per unemployment rules you have to look for another job and within a month if that he got a call about another job and he worked there until he quit 6 months ago for a better job. 

So here we are living in St. Louis. Time to test my big city girl ambitions. I've always said I'm a small town girl with big city ambitions. 

Welcome to our new life.

Blessings,

A new yr.

So another yr bit's the dust.
 

Well there you have it. the yr 2012 is now officially over. My 9yr old son & i were talking and i said that he would have go back to school the next day. He of course like he always does says " uuuugghhh, i dont wanna go back to school" so i told him that well, look at it this way you only have 5 more months of school left, then it's summer vacation! As i said that i realized, WOW. 5 more months and another yr of school is over. How can it be? Where did the time go? When you think about it time really does go by fast. I wish that there was a way to make time stop, even for a few hrs. Not only in the yrs or months, or heck even days, but the hrs as well. there never seems to be enough hrs in the day. As i think long and hard about this i realize that i have yet to do something with my life. How is it that i let this one detail of my life sneak by?

I keep thinking about that episode of Family Guy. Where Francine was the littel girl who fell down in a well and was saved by a fire man whom they thought died trying to save her. She's so up set because everyone keeps asking what she did with her life. That this guy died to save her so that she may live and have a life. but in her eyes she just wasted her life, and now it's too late she too old. Granted i am only 28yrs old (not yet 30) but still as you know time does go by way too fast. i dont think that i can keep up. i have nothing to show for my life right now. what accomplishments have i done? I have not finished college, dont have a career, i do not live in a big house... I am definitely not rich by any means.  heck i dont even think that i've done a very good job tyring to teach my kids. I think above anything else that's the worst. If there is anything i know without a doubt what i want outta this new year is that i want to teach my kids. I want to teach them how to be a good person. i want to instill in them morals and to know right from wrong, how to treat people. I just want them to go into the world the wonderful people that i know they can be.

if i do not do anything with my life i at least want to do this.

Here it is.

Well, i still haven't really taken the time to think about what i want outta life. am i procrastinating... just a little bit. Even though i do not have a job right now i feel as though i'm busier than ever, if that is at all possible. I think with the holiday just around the corner it is the perfect time off to think about what i feel i need to be doing. Janurary leads us to a new yr. So with this new year that means new goals, new plans, new ideas & most importantly new direction. amazing how a little bit of Glee can find it's way into my blog. (:

I am pretty nervous about what or where i should be going next year. i feel like i have so many ideas going through my head. i feel as though i need some inspiration. no body ever got any where just sitting around doing nothing. If you put youre mind to it you can do anything. I just need to try and put my mind to what it is that i really want. but i guess that is the biggest question of them all what is it that i really want? I am 28 yrs old and i feel that i have nothing to show for my life. Is this my rock bottom? I dont know, i think my life could be at lot worst than it is. but heres hoping that it doesn't. #1 mission is to finish all my christmas shopping. How is it that i have completely over seen how much presents that i have gotten my son. My first born at that. I think that i was too focused on making sure that Felicity & Trinity had enough presents that they didn't feel left out. How is it that he could be so completely laid back and ok with what ever changes happen in our life? How did he get to be so grown up? 9 yrs old going on 30. (: I guess with this whole situation i dont want my children to feel like i'm putting them on the back burner.

as in the words of Rachel from Glee,

when is it going to be my turn to shine

.

Future:

I've made a really big change in my life at this momment. I've currently went from one job to another. with each job though it was a better career choice.


Though currently I have quit my job and now have no job. I think that I'm still processing this. I feel as though all i've been doing is working. at one point i had 2 jobs at a time. how do i go from working all the time to now not working at all? am i worried well of course i am. but i did alot of praying and asking for advice from plently of family and friends as to what would be the best course of action for me. all roads lead me to here. jobless. now i dont want you to get the wrong idea. i loved my job, or though i thought. after almost 3 months of working my job i came to realize that maybe this wasn't the job for me. some may say that it had to do with my co-worker, but i dont like to think of it that way. when youre told that your not doing the job you are being paid to do you start to re-think about why you are working there. now don't get me wrong, did i just sit and be lazy, no. i do feel that i did my best at this job. i went to work on time worked hard, thought i got my work done. but i guess i wasn't working hard enough. isn't that what life is about? changing jobs until you find the one you like or that fits youre life the best? i dont know maybe i just keep telling myself that because i'm so depressed about not having a job. ''/ i really dont know where my life is suppose to go from here. i think before i rush out and find the first job that i can i want to take the time to think about what it is i want outta life. where do i want to go in my life right now? think about the long run. my future, my husbands future, my childrens future.

There has been alot of changes in my life right now. so many of which i wish wasnt happening at this momment in  time, but there isn't much i can do about it. i am nervous, scared and worried all bundled into one perfect package. there are so many times that i would love to just hide away in a closet and just pretend everything is perfect. but we dont life in this perfect world and hiding away in a closet isn't going to change anything. do i know what the future holds for my family. NOPE. not at all, but i'm going with it.